Confession: The WGA Strike Is Probably All My Fault

Contrary to popular opinion, I'm pretty sure the WGA strike doesn't have anything to do with residuals. See, about two years ago I went to this little, tiny car wash that's part of a gas station in Culver City. Due to the placement of the car wash, if more than two cars are in line to get into the car wash the line usually extends into one of the gas pump areas. If people are actually pumping gas in this area, thereby blocking the space where the car wash line would logically go, people tend to line up on the side, so the line would be kind of L-shaped, or a backwards L, or an upside-down T if people are on both sides. The point is, one day there were three cars in line and lots of people pumping gas, so I ended up pulling my car up to the left of the line, making me fourth in line. Since I had a coupon for a regular car wash I didn't need to get out of my car and go into the mini-mart to pay. If you don't have the coupon you have to go inside and pay and they give you this sign to put on top of your car that says "WASH" to show the attendant that you paid. Seconds after I pulled up, a fancy import pulled up on the right side on the line. This guy who looked just like Peter Chernin,the head of Fox (!), got out of the car and went inside and came back with a "WASH" sign. I don't know what he was doing at this modest car wash on a Saturday afternoon, I figured he'd normally have his car detailed on the lot by his fourth assistant. Maybe there was an incident with a flock of crows or something while he was shopping at Target. Anyway, by the time he returned the other cars in line were getting ready to pull up and he and I both started to pull up behind them, from opposite directions. I was slightly ahead of him and he became red faced and honked at me. I stood my automotive ground and he got out of his car and started yelling at me that I was cutting. I got out and politely told him there was no need to yell because I was in fact in line before him. He said I didn't even have a sign. I told him why I didn't have a sign, because I didn't need a sign. He seemed deeply embarrassed, then noticed I was wearing a 3rd Rock from the Sun baseball cap. It was a crew gift from when I worked on the show that I've worn like twice in my entire life, and this had to be one of those times. He asked in a menacing tone what I did in the business and I panicked, not wanting to tell him I was in TV production on a CBS show at the time, because if he really was Peter Chernin, and he looked totally like Peter Chernin, I was afraid he'd track me down and get Leslie Moonves, the head of CBS (!), to fire me. So I blurted out that I was a writer so he'd go on a wild goose chase. I didn't even say what kind of writer and he responded, "God damn you fucking writers!" Then he marched back to his car, took off the "WASH" sign, threw it at me (it grazed my right thigh) and drove off in a rage, nearly running over a kid on a skateboard. I really think it might have been Peter Chernin (who else could it have been?) and that two years later he is still so mad at me that he goaded the other studio heads into making a really bad offer just for spite, which the WGA took as an insult and things just snowballed into a strike. And it's all my fault and I'm very, very, very sorry. In retrospect I should've just let him go ahead of me. It's not like spending an extra three minutes in my car listening to A Prairie Home Companion would've killed me. So now you all know and we can let the healing begin. I feel a little better already, just getting this off my chest.